Father's Day just isn't the same when your dad lives in heaven!

I don't need to ramble on today about what a great dad Ricky is. You all know I've been singing his praises for months now and today is no exception! He is still a great husband and awesome dad. My children adore him and love him dearly!

Today  I find myself thinking mostly about my dad, STAN THE MAN and the man he was to me! I miss him a lot and have leaned on him often in this cancer experience! I had this black and white picture of he and I taped to my mirror throughout all of my treatments, looking daily at his adoring smile so many Christmases ago! In that picture I had never yet disobeyed him, he had never talked to me about "c" s being only average grades and that I could do better than that! We hadn't played in the leaves he had just raked yet, I hadn't yet watched him carve a roast as though  it would be presented in some fabulous feast for some royal person, I hadn't gone fishing with him for long hours waiting for the fish to start biting and then finally landing a 7 -3/4 lb. Speckled trout! That made him so proud he was about to BUST! I hadn't yet received a beautiful Alexandrite ring he bought me on a dove hunt in Brownsville (I still love to receive gifts!) He hadn't educated me about the proper cleaning of doves after the hunt, where we watched in awe and learned all the internal organs of a freshly cleaned white wing dove! He hadn't yet met the boy I would marry, he didn't yet know that I would be the mother of EIGHT children. (Layni is still sad she never got to meet POPO!) So many things were yet to unfold, that we were not aware of! He was a strong man, in stature and character. I have always admired him and have been told that I have some of his qualities! (only his good ones, of course!) He was not perfect (as I once thought) he had flaws that made him as human as the next dad. He was my hero and I always  looked up to him!  My dad fought many battles in his life, he was a boxer that never lost a fight (no lie), he was a marine and he was a cancer survivor! When we took that picture almost 50 years ago, he didn't know that one day I, too, would battle cancer! He would have encouraged me and kept me focused on the positive! Just like he did from heaven. I would've preferred he'd been here to hug me and talk to me in person, but he was not! I make the best of communicating through prayer in hopes that he knows I still love him so much, as I know he does me! I can still smell what his cheeks smelled like when I would kiss him and I can still taste  his TROUT almondine, the best ever ( a treasured recipe from his fellow fisher friend TOPAT MORROW!)  I wish Layni could've met her POPO, she would've loved him too!  You can't smile as big as the two of us in that picture unless your heart is filled with love!  I love my dad! Hoping you are fishing in heaven today!