another perspective of cancer treatment

As my last treatment of chemo approaches, I am facing this strange feeling of separation anxiety from the care of the oncology professionals who have been taking care of me for the last few months. I have an exhilarating feeling of joy knowing the chemo is almost done, yet will miss the security of the constant watchful care of my chemo nurses and doctor checking on me every week.
Both Tracie and Sara, my nurses who would administer my chemo meds, were so helpful and considerate, always helping me make the best of a somewhat miserable situation. They both shared with me their own experience of each having dealt with their own mother's breast cancers. They both know first hand the personal effects of cancer.
In an effort to share someone else's perspective of cancer, Tracie agreed to share with me, and all of you who read this blog, what it is like to be an oncology nurse. I appreciate the time she took to gather her thoughts and share her experience with us. This is what she wrote:

     This is a special request from Mrs. Madelene, one of my dearest patients. She asked me to express what it feels like to take care for someone with cancer. 

     Let me first tell you, I have been a nurse for 16 years. Nursing is my passion. Better yet, acute care or emergency care was my passion for the first 14 years. Until one day, while I was working in the ER in Lake Charles as a contract worker,  I was asked to take the place of the oncology nurse going on maternity leave!!! I thought, are you serious?? Oncology? Cancer? Dying, sick people who would depress me? But I was talked into it and I tried it. Oh how I was enlightened! That day I was not surrounded by those kind of people I thought I would be. I was surrounded by people who really knew what living and life was really about. Their definition of living was so different than my distorted definition. All this time I thought I was living life in the fullest. What a mistake! Needless to say after that one, and I say ONE day, my passion changed from ER to oncology. 

     Most everyone in this Southwest Louisiana area has been touched with cancer in some way, either personally or know someone who was touched by cancer. For those who have not, you can't imagine the strength and courage these patients have once they hear the word cancer. No matter how weak they may seem, they are fighting every minute, because there is not  a minute that goes by they do not think of their CANCER. They have to find ways to overcome the fear that comes along  with a cancer diagnosis. And no matter how scared they are, they continue to fight  and return for more of  the stuff that makes them sick... the chemo. Gosh, how awesome is that?

     Living to them means waking up to the sunshine or rain, or telling someone "I love you", seeing the birds fly, the clouds move, or the flowers grow. Whereas most people take that for granted, they see it as a blessing as God meant for it to be. They are thankful for the simple things in life. They are fighting a hard battle with a smile. To them, cancer in not about dying, it is about living! 

     Oncology nursing is the most gratifying job I have ever experienced. Especially when I had to treat my own mother. As scared as I was, I knew I had to put my fear aside to ease hers. She felt so blessed to be experiencing the scariest thing in her life with her daughter's help. Being able to do this made our family much more knowledgeable and less fearful. 

Tracie Dubose

     I remember the day that Tracie and I took this picture,  I was so emotional, I couldn't even talk without crying and she said how she was feeling sad that day too because she was concerned about one of her children's health and how hard it was when her children were sick because dealing with cancer everyday made her over sensitive to normal everyday symptoms that people not in her profession would never give a second thought to.  As I uploaded the photo of the two of us, I could see the stress  of the day in both our eyes. Her job is not an easy one! 

I will be forever grateful to Tracie and Sara for their loving and kind care. And in a couple  weeks I will go on to begin my 35 days of radiation (5 days a week for 7 weeks) and probably get all attached to the staff at the radiology clinic too! I can also begin rebuilding my very weakened body with much needed nutritional supplementing. And gradually, day by day, get stronger and stronger... and grow back my hair, which by the way, is coming back with much more gray than I remember!!!  Now that is not funny!