Happy Birthday Maddie and Haley!

             Yesterday Ricky and I compromised a household rule.... No boy/girl parties at our house. I think having eight kids has made us try to always keep things simple and less complicated. So we always encouraged smaller, more intimate parties with just a few  close friends for the kids birthday parties... avoiding extra drama as often as possible. Since my diagnosis, with  my physical limits during chemo I have felt certainly less than adequate as a parent. I have felt some sadness about my  absence as a mother, that my children have had to endure. Although I have been here, I have been here in a very limited  way. But as their birthday approached and they requested a BONFIRE birthday party with boys and girls, this time I wanted to honor their wishes. Not out of guilt, but out of a true sense of wanting to give them what they deserved. They have been so patient and loving in my whole cancer and chemo experience. So we said yes. Ricky was going to cook his great barbecue hamburgers and build them a bonfire... and then it rained ALL day. I got my typical third day after chemo exhaustion and panicked that I wouldn't feel up to the challenge. I rested all afternoon and gathered up the energy and we switched the BONFIRE (because of the rain) to a dancing party that turned our great! One of the guys in their class has some full throttle DJ equipment and he did a super job of providing some very loud music. They all danced and had a great time..."The best party ever, MOM!!! Thank you so MUCH!"...  They are a great bunch of kids that were so well behaved.  I look at the twins birthday picture and think Oh my God they are so grown up!... We are ALL GROWING UP!  This whole experience is changing all of us in big and small ways. I am grateful for the experience. How else was I gonna learn to not think I was in control of everything? P.S. Ricky did the forbidden and went out and  danced with them to APPLE BOTTOM JEANS! He is such a cool daddy!