Back to being a mom again, or at least trying!

Today, as promised to Layni, I attended her 5th grade field trip to Avery Island in New Iberia, La. We visited the McIlhenny Tabasco Plant (Popo would've loved this trip). I rode on the very loud and bumpy school bus with her class. It was a very interesting trip (we even tasted SWEET AND SPICY JALAPENO ICE CREAM!) and I thoroughly enjoyed being with Layni for the outing. I had concerns about being strong enough to last the day. I did have a rough spot when we went down to the water to see  the bird sanctuary and the alligators. I got a little behind the group while looking for my glasses, that I thought I had dropped while taking pictures, then as I scurried up the path to catch up with the group, my chemo caught up with me and slowed me down a bit. When I got up to the bus, Layni was already concerned about me and had alerted her teacher. For all they knew, an alligator had swallowed me up!! But I was okay, just a little out of breath from the uphill climb. I lie, I was a lot out of breath! Nasty effects of the chemo!  And all that time my stupid glasses were in my purse!!  Look closely at the top green, slimy picture... there's an alligator in there, somewhere. Also check out my new, red TABASCO hat. I am outgrowing my addiction to my wig... it's getting hotter and my hair is starting to grow back!! 

     

 In the morning, before we left for the field trip, I decided to pay a quick visit to my old friend, Jesus, in the adoration chapel at church. That is something I used to do every week, on a regular basis, aside from our regular Sunday attendance. When I started my chemo, there were very few Sundays that I felt well enough to go to mass, much less spend another hour in the adoration chapel. I have missed that time, because it was always such close spiritual time for me. I would sit in front of Jesus and journal for an hour, always walking away refreshed and rested! So my intention today was to whisk in for a minute and ask for a safe and blessed day and thank HIM for my process of healing, of both my cancer and my life. I knelt in front of the exposed Blessed Sacrament, with the intention of quickly stating my prayer and rushing out to be on time for the departure of the bus. As I knelt before our Lord, I was totally consumed by His love for me. So much so, that tears came, that could not be controlled and had I been alone in there, without others trying to pray, I could have easily just thrown myself on the floor and sobbed with a feeling of being consumed by the Spirit. I closed my eyes, easily recalling that Oh so close feeling to our loving God, it felt familiar again and I felt safe. (Something I haven't felt in a while!)  I didn't feel alienated from  the God that I know loves me so much. I soaked it all in, trusting I could take His Spirit with me for the day... for the rest of my life. I pray that each day I am somehow reminded of His love for me, in all my imperfection. I am so grateful to those who pray for me when, I can not lift myself, but it sure feels good when we do it on our own too!!! It was so good! I love tears!